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December 04, 2007
Toad
Back in my day, we just smoked weed. But these kids today, with their iPods and their hallucinogen-excreting amphibians...
December 4, 2007 | Permalink
Comments
Geez Ezra - when was your day? I figured you were much younger than me, and "toad licking" was a thing back in my day.
Also, I love that the man was arrested for "posession of a toad with intent to use its venom to get high". If I'm sitting on that jury, I'm laughing my ass off every time the prosecutor says that phrase or anything remotely like it. Busted for posession because you have a pet toad? Jeebus. I'd think that they're more likely to make the mescaline charges stick than the toad venom, but that's just me.
Posted by: NonyNony | Dec 4, 2007 10:18:47 AM
People will go to great lengths to get high. Prohibition does not seem to work. We need a better approach to drug use.
Posted by: cheflovesbeer | Dec 4, 2007 10:39:32 AM
Kids today? Hah! Read your William S. Burroughs, sonny!
Posted by: Joe S. | Dec 4, 2007 10:54:18 AM
Hey! They didn't credit Snopes.com! (they called it "a Web site that investigates urban legends" without naming it).
Posted by: Shadow Wolf | Dec 4, 2007 11:41:12 AM
We need a better approach to drug use.
What, like your approach to illegal immigration? Just cave in and say "Well, we are having some issue controlling this undesirable behavior that is dangerous to the user and to others so we'll just GIVE UP!" Yeah, that's just dandy.
So in this same train of thought, do we also dismiss prison rape because we think it's a tough issue?
Posted by: El viajero | Dec 4, 2007 11:41:40 AM
Life imitates Family Guy, eh?
Posted by: Midwest Product | Dec 4, 2007 12:31:02 PM
If toads are outlawed, only outlaw toads will have drugs.
Posted by: Spike | Dec 4, 2007 1:15:20 PM
Quite surprising, actually, considering how many Republican drug warriors are toads . . .
Posted by: rea | Dec 4, 2007 1:49:09 PM
El Viajero--this Rhetoric 101 is typical Ann Coulterish kind of "DUH" thinking--it exposes the ridiculous neo-con Republican ethos that there are only black and white answers. Sometimes there are, but life is often different shades of gray. One can hardly compare getting high from toads to prison rape.
Posted by: Texican | Dec 4, 2007 1:56:54 PM
Sadly, the link has been refreshed to a much less interesting article about heart attacks.
Posted by: Colleen | Dec 4, 2007 3:05:41 PM
It's not just our kids! It's also our dogs!
Posted by: Colleen | Dec 4, 2007 3:11:59 PM
(Check out NPR's recent story about a dog named Lady with a toad-sucking-addiction)
Posted by: Colleen | Dec 4, 2007 3:13:59 PM
Are you also saying kids are licking I-Pods? THIS MUST STOP! They'll turn into that prick from the "Mac vs. PC" ads!
Posted by: Glenn Fayard | Dec 4, 2007 11:07:12 PM
GIVE UP THE TOAD (feel free to sing along)
You'll get chills
all through your body
and you'll lose
all control
of your bladder
and your sphincter
thats your butthole
Cause, if you use toad
then I'm tellin you
you can kiss your life goodbye
Yeah when you use toad
it'll mess you up
It'll make your mama cry
thats no lie
you'll choke on your tongue and die
Gotta give it up
(gotta give up the toad now)
its no joke
buddy give it up
(you gotta give up the toad now)
or you'll croak
buddy give it up
(gotta give up the toad now)
and dont smoke
or you'll see
it hurts to pee
There'll be blood
gushing from you
everytime that you cough
and forget getting lucky
it falls off
So you better wise up
cause I'm tellin you
toad is one lando forbids
Gotta give it all up
or your gonna see
your whole life will hit the skids
and your kids
will be born without eyelids
Gotta give it up
(give up the toad now)
(thanks to you)
just give it up
(give up the toad now)
(thanks to you)
give it up
(give up the toad now)
I'm no fool
Landos cool
YEAH!
Posted by: JC | Dec 5, 2007 5:45:57 PM
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