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October 11, 2007

The Weirdness of the Right

Being a pundit, it seemed logical to me to challenge Michelle Malkin to a policy debate on the subject we were arguing about. She said no. Being crazy, it seemed logical to one of her readers to challenge me to a -- I shit you not -- boxing match. This is so we can prove who's really "an internet tough guy."

Can't we just compare penis size or something?

October 11, 2007 | Permalink

Comments

OK. This conservative considers that pretty weird too.

Posted by: Kevin | Oct 11, 2007 4:10:06 PM

I can recommend a good trainer, Ezra.

Posted by: Ryan | Oct 11, 2007 4:14:43 PM

Who is that guy making fun of? You or himself? Genuinely strange.

Posted by: Dr. Victor Davis Handjob | Oct 11, 2007 4:18:06 PM

Michelle Malkin would win the whole measuring thing, I think.

Posted by: Geoffrey | Oct 11, 2007 4:18:32 PM

Big time LOL

Posted by: Tony | Oct 11, 2007 4:22:33 PM

Well, let's get your penis out there and see what we think.

Posted by: jnfr | Oct 11, 2007 4:26:03 PM

Wow, that dude is really weird looking. I think he is typical of the right wing zealots that worship at the altar that is Michelle Malkin (& Jesse thrown in for free). Talk about not blessed in the looks department, I really hope that is a parody.

Posted by: RealityCheck | Oct 11, 2007 4:27:03 PM

The winner of such a duel would clearly have God and justice on his side. Hilarious. You might remind Matthews in a bit about Zell Miller's outstanding offer of a duel. Share a laugh.

Posted by: Trevor | Oct 11, 2007 4:28:59 PM

That's pretty funny. I'm not sure I'm willing to bet on Ezra in his alternative proposal, mind you, for reasons related to ethnicity.

I understand the concept of chivalry, but there's something about Malkin that seems to inspire conservatives to offer to protect her physically in some really, really creepy ways. Consider this thread...

If I were close to DC, I would be more than happy to stand guard for Michelle. I think my 6′ 235 lb former college athlete frame would give freaks like this chump a reason to think twice before trying something stupid.

Be safe MM. I’ve got a couple of .45’s and a 9mm sig that airiate that sack O crap reaaaaaal nice if he tries anything violent.

The best bet is don’t let anyone get NEAR Michelle or anyone else, until the person is vented, and escorted. No one should be allowed to get to Michelle! Keep them away, and, keep barriers between Michelle and the public, and always keep an escape route for Michelle! Always have a first, second, and third way out should she be cornered.

Those protecting Michelle should be resolved to attack, and disable as quickly as possible, anyone who lays a single hand on her, but beware, the first action could be a diversion, so she should be huddled by those who protect her and moved to a safe location, a location which is guarded to maintain its safety.

I mean, I think Ezra is an awesome health care blogger and all, and he's kinda cute besides, but I don't know that I'd take a bullet for him.

Posted by: Steve | Oct 11, 2007 4:31:09 PM

Gotta laugh.

I was thinking who really wants to see some debate about health care in America, even in some shrubs? But you and Malkin having a video webcast mud wrestling match in speedos while slinging health measure mud. That'd get plenty of hits.

Posted by: Amos Anan | Oct 11, 2007 4:32:19 PM

I thought the thing about "Idiocracy" is that it suggests a timeline of centuries to get to the point that meaningful discourse would be reduced to monster truck battles and grunting.

But hey, whatev. LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUMBLE!!!

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | Oct 11, 2007 4:32:30 PM

Metaphor for the "charity boxing match":

Charles Barkley challenges Allen Iverson to a game of one-on-one. Allen Iverson ignores it. Concert pianist and Iverson fan says, "if Barkley wants a competition so bad, why doesn't he take me on in a piano-recital-off?"

As far as I can tell, Ezra never said he was, say, strong, or good at boxing, or interested in having a physical altercation with anybody.

Posted by: SDM | Oct 11, 2007 4:32:40 PM

Didn't trial by combat disappear with the Enlightenment? In any dispute, though, I'd put my money on the vengeful, kick-ass God of the Old Testament against the "turn the other cheek" God of the New Testament.

Posted by: The_Question | Oct 11, 2007 4:32:49 PM

"If God wants S-CHIP, He'll save Graeme Frost from this vat of boiling oil we're about to throw him into."

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | Oct 11, 2007 4:35:00 PM

Yeah, well, I hereby challenge Conservative Robbie Cooper to an algebra competition!

(Better that than a pie-eating contest. He'd clearly kick my ass at that. Boy's a little, umm, beefy...))

Posted by: Stranger | Oct 11, 2007 4:37:40 PM

Maybe Robbie is making a brilliant argument by analogy.

Robbie's brawling skillz : Ezra's sissyfists :: Ezra's churning brainpower : Malkin's crippled intellect

Posted by: Mastodon Juan | Oct 11, 2007 4:41:36 PM

Since Michelle is calling in the obese righties to fight her battles, I'd think that decency and honor requires that you get to choose a surrogate as well (in the spirit on picking on some one of their own size).

I'd suggest the opening blow be a full-force against Robbie (isn't that a cute name for a fat pig?) be a kick in his nuts with steel-toed shoes the fearless Robbie - fearless when he's at least twice the weight as his call-out victim-to-be.

The second blow probably shoudl be with a knee to his chin or nose when he bends over in agony from the first blow. They want to play bully, give them something that the schoolyard bullies always remember: mashed nuts and bloody face/broken jaw are a great equalizer.

Notice how all the the slobbering righties refuse to acknowlege that any policy debate would ever be worthwhile to those citizens seeking enlightenment and want to see which side marshalls the evidence and which side just name-calls and makes threats?

These wingnuts are truly obsessed with violence. I'm beginning to think that a double-dose of whoopass is all they would understand, so their bravado must be countered before the brownshirt brigade starts smashing windows and burning books on a daily basis. I'd bet they say uncle real quickly.

Atios calls them assholes. I call them pathetic. Both are on-target.

Posted by: JimPortlandOR | Oct 11, 2007 4:42:15 PM

Hahahahhaa. That's great. Michelle won't debate on the actual policy, so the only fair thing to do is have some fat biker fight Ezra. It's called logic people.

Posted by: mad6798j | Oct 11, 2007 4:52:05 PM

Mr. Klein,
I would love to email you but it seems that there is no way to do that. So, I will attempt to comment here. I am one of those middle class families that you seem to want to protect however, there is one problem. I am a mother of 4. My husband works full time and I work part time and go to school. We have been lucky to be able to have insurance through my husband's company, however, one of my children is extremely ill and we must pay a considerable amount on out of pocket medical bills. We do not, nor ever would want to use government medical care unless that was the only choice we had. I am telling you this because I believe that the Frost family does have ways that they could have afforded the insurance that they needed prior to their children getting hurt. I have seen so many people take advantage of the system and this is why people like me and my family have to pay higher premiums, more taxes, etc. I am not going after the Frost's children, I am questioning the parents for their disregard in looking out for their care in the first place. I would have loved to send my children to a private school or own my own business, but my husband and I would rather pay for the security of our family first and maybe one day we can get the luxuries that the Frost's have seemed to attain. You may belittle me and tell me that you are smarter than me and your probably right, but to dismiss this as a story about going after someone's kids is dead wrong. It is about not depending on the government to help us instead of helping ourselves and prioritizing our families needs ahead of our own desires. Maybe you can print that on your blog somewhere. Sincerely, Jerri Jones

Posted by: Jerri Jones | Oct 11, 2007 4:59:32 PM

A day they don't escalate is a day that reflection and shame might creep in. That would be intolerable, so they will always escalate.

We should be careful that we don't get into the same trap.

Posted by: Megan | Oct 11, 2007 5:00:10 PM

1. Use a trick ruler.

OR

2. Train with Randy Couture, he just quit the UFC so he should have free time.

AND

3. Profit.

Posted by: Glenn Fayard | Oct 11, 2007 5:03:43 PM

I would have made a raunchier comment, but I just directed my Poli Sci prof here.

Posted by: Glenn Fayard | Oct 11, 2007 5:04:19 PM

Didn't trial by combat disappear with the Enlightenment?

Ah, the Enlightenment. An error that generations of wingnuts have been trying to correct for hundreds of years. Witness Ms. Jerri Jones, who, while perhaps well-meaning, perhaps just a troll, seems entirely impervious to the actual facts of the Frost case. And why should she care? The facts don't really matter. What matters is that someone, somewhere, is getting money from the government, and that needs to stop.

Posted by: paperwight | Oct 11, 2007 5:11:10 PM

The boxing challenge is now defended by its author as comedy blog-whoring.

There's no particular reason to believe that the author is the person in the photograph - that's part of the "comedy" - or anything else he says about himself.

Posted by: putnam | Oct 11, 2007 5:13:36 PM

It is rather interesting Mr. Paperwight that you can belittle me without knowing me and tell me that I do not know the facts and impervious to them. How arrogant of you to make assumptions about someone who could be your neighbor, family, or friend. I know as much of the facts that you seem to know, I too follow the news stories and many different blogs. It is so much easier to insult me out of hand than to tell me what exactly you found about my argument to be impervious to the facts. I told you my personal facts, now you give me the courtesy to not insult and belittle me and carry on a rational, common sense, debate about how I might have perceived something wrongly about this issue. This SCHIP issue is important to me and is not just a battle between two party ideologies.

Posted by: Jerri Jones | Oct 11, 2007 5:18:56 PM

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