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September 07, 2007

Bin Laden The Blogger

I think it's pretty clear that, in another life, Osama bin Laden would've been a political blogger. It's really a shame he went the mass murderer route instead. Meanwhile, his lengthy critique of American foreign policy combined with his encouraging suggestion that "There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent," makes for a pretty strange amalgam of supply-sider and anti-imperialist. Maybe he could start a third-party?

Update: Or what about a Ron Paul/bin Laden ticket?

September 7, 2007 | Permalink


Best bin-Ladin tape commentary yet.

Thank you

Posted by: yep | Sep 7, 2007 6:12:39 PM

Osama: Anti-corporate, but pro-flat-tax! And evidently everything he knows about Vietnam he learned from an Arabic bootleg of Oliver Stone's JFK.

I did like the fact that he went seamlessly from "we sure do love them Christians and Jews" to "you Christians are irredeemably damned because of your shirk, so come to Islam or we'll kill you all." That's what you call "appealing to your base."

Posted by: WatchfulBabbler | Sep 7, 2007 6:22:26 PM


I took a hell of beating from a Catholic priest for asking, "how could God be both all forgiving...and damn people to hell for eternity" in a Doctrine class.

Apparently, Osama bin Laden ain't the only religious nut offering paradoxes.

Posted by: S Brennan | Sep 7, 2007 6:34:17 PM

That tape has to be bullshit. It chock-full of contemporary references to the point of ridiculousness. I half expected him to say, "Did you guys hear about Owen Wilson? I heard he did it because Kate Hudson dumped him!"

I don't know, maybe it's real. But still: OK, we get it, you're alive.

Posted by: Jason G. | Sep 7, 2007 6:36:23 PM

I don't know, maybe it's real. But still: OK, we get it, you're alive.

i think he does that because for so long, the administration was claiming that they had killed or seriously wounded him and all his tapes were old. now, somehow, it's a good thing that he's alive because it proves the world is dangerous. not because it proves they haven't been able to capture/kill him - no that's just impossible, apparently. but his still being alive and not dead by natural causes proves we need another republican president.

i swear, OBL is turning into the new Castro.

Posted by: Cody | Sep 7, 2007 6:43:04 PM

Josh Marshall is thinking along the same lines:

But as an articulator of a vision, an expounder of "Islamofascism," or whatever the new trademarked word is now, [bin Laden is] about as coherent and comprehensible as a 9th tier blogger or one of those whacks sitting on a stoop in Union Square talking about fascism and Texas oil barons before they get overcome by the shakes or decide to start collecting more aluminum cans.
And yet, as Marshall points out, the Bush administration (for their own political reasons) insists on giving him the exalted status he so enjoys.

Posted by: Tom Hilton | Sep 7, 2007 7:01:54 PM

Oops...sorry about not closing the link tag.

Posted by: Tom Hilton | Sep 7, 2007 7:02:22 PM

in another life, Osama bin Laden would've been a political blogger.

In another life, he would've been Fred Thompson.

Posted by: Eric the Political Hack | Sep 7, 2007 7:04:54 PM

i swear, OBL is turning into the new Castro.

Well, except the reason he says we're all oppressed by the corporations -- who, in his view, back democracy so that they can manipulate it -- is that we dare make laws for ourselves.

If only we'd surrender to Islam, then suddenly the big greedy corporations would all make nice and the world would be fair and just and la la la la la.

It's absolutely pathetic. I mean, given a week to write a script more convincing of why Islam was the answer, I could come up with something much, much better, and I'm not even Muslim and have only read excerpt of the Qur'aan and Muslim history.

Posted by: El Cid | Sep 7, 2007 7:06:12 PM

I'd like to see other religions' tax policies before I commit to conversion.

Of course, I already live in Alaska, so I don't really pay any taxes. Maybe bin Laden will want to move to the Last Frontier!?

Posted by: Grumpy | Sep 7, 2007 7:11:16 PM

Adopting Islam because it might seem more effective than current campaign finance laws doesn't really sound that compelling.

Is Peggy Noonan available to write some sweeping, mythic prose for bin Laden? Who was the person who give Osama those references like "the tragedy of Andalucia"? Where did he go?

This is less the worldwide apocalyptic prose of, say "Gates of Vienna" and more of the fantasy try-to-be-wonky-though-i'm-ignorant material of Adam Yoshida.

Posted by: Tyro | Sep 7, 2007 7:18:11 PM

My admiration for the apparent electoral (if not fiscal) power of supply-side is unbounded, but you must remember that presidential candidate are obliged to have been born on American soil.

Or are you suggesting we should annex Saudi Arabia, which might (retroactively) qualify him?

Hmmm ... Bin Laden's plan is apparently that everyone converts and also that all Islamic people live under one caliphate - and surely the annexation of Saudi is progress towards his goals! I smell compromise!

Posted by: Warren Terra | Sep 7, 2007 7:30:57 PM

bin laden/bogeyman
(both eight letters
hides under beds and in caves)

an' the lamp-wick sputter, an' the wind goes woo--oo!
an' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray,
an' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,
you better mind yer parunts, an' yer teachurs fond an' dear,
an' cherish them 'at loves you, an'dry the orphant's tear,
an he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,
er bin laden's gonna git you
ef you

~ james whitcomb riley, sort of.

Posted by: jacqueline | Sep 7, 2007 8:12:06 PM

He was just annoyed that they didn't let him into APEC:

Posted by: slightly_peeved | Sep 7, 2007 10:25:11 PM

A Bin Laden / Bush ticket would be better. They both seem to want American solders to die.

Posted by: sports bettor | Sep 7, 2007 11:56:52 PM

I don't think Ron Paul has what it takes to install a theocracy here. Pat Buchanan, however, is tanned, rested, and ready, and the press corps loves him.

Posted by: calling all toasters | Sep 8, 2007 8:54:22 AM

Osama has never failed in ensuring his tapes get released at the most politically opportune times - not for 'Al-Qaeda' - but for the Neo-Cons and the Bush administration.

On the eve of the Iraq war, during Colin Powell's infamous presentation to the UN, an audio tape in which bin Laden claimed he was allied with Saddam Hussein surfaced, a gift-wrapped present for the Neo-Cons who had consistently been proven wrong in their assertion that there was a connection between Iraq and 9/11.

The Osama tapes are about as genuine as a used car salesman convention, and have been proven fraudulent on countless occasions. They are nothing more than crude propaganda unleashed in a desperate move to put the genie of what really happened on 9/11 back in the bottle. infowars dot com

Posted by: This Planet | Sep 8, 2007 9:24:02 AM

Bin Laden needs to find a better writer. The man is desperately trying to prove why he is relevant.

Posted by: Jack | Sep 8, 2007 10:48:50 AM

Did you hear how much I like Hillary Clinton?

Posted by: Osamastein Bin Emanuelden | Sep 8, 2007 5:25:10 PM

Finally American Left has a reason to hate old OBL.
Old Osammi is a VERY low and FLAT tax rate promoter.

Who would have thought that Osammi would piss-off his natural allies.

It must be Karl Rove who penetrated AQ and wrote a speech for Osammi to divide lefties and AQ.

Posted by: mik | Sep 8, 2007 6:20:22 PM

Not to rain on the parade, but I feel like I should point out that zakat is a tax on assets not income.

Depending on the details, that 2.5% could be pretty substantial in terms of income. It's also intended to primarily affect the wealthy.

Posted by: Jack Lecou | Sep 8, 2007 6:39:19 PM

You all are in a state of denial if you think he sounds like a REPUBLICAN candidate. Come on, except for the sharia stuff, what does he say that wouldn't allow him to be a vp candidate, or sec def, in an Edwards or Clinton administration? He may in fact be gunning for that. Love his references to the "events" of 9/11.

Posted by: Yan D. Kamecki | Sep 8, 2007 8:07:37 PM

I think it's pretty clear that, in another life, Osama bin Laden would've been a political blogger. It's really a shame he went the mass murderer route instead.

It's a shame more political bloggers don't. At the very least, it would add a whole new dimension to the art of trolling.

Posted by: Phoenician in a time of Romans | Sep 9, 2007 5:57:36 AM

Come on, except for the sharia stuff, what does he say that wouldn't allow him to be a vp candidate, or sec def, in an Edwards or Clinton administration?
"The sharia stuff" is the core of his platform, in case you haven't noticed. It's very similar to what "mainstream" Republicans are in favor of, just with a slightly different god.

Ron Paul, on the other hand, is the one half-sane guy in the Republican tent, so I don't really get the low blow against him. I'd much rather see a party of Ron Pauls across the aisle than Tom Delay, Jack Abramoff and Karl Rove. (Well, ok, all those guys are indicted or resigned in disgrace. But the current crop isn't that different.)

I think Paul is trying to reverse the hijacking of the Republican Party and bring it back to its pre-Nixon roots. Too bad he appears to be failing.

Posted by: Chris | Sep 9, 2007 11:33:52 AM

"...very similar to mainstream republicans...." In your dreams. You wish! He sounds so absurdly like a democratic candidate that some people have suggested the video is a fake.

Posted by: Yan D. Kamecki | Sep 9, 2007 2:09:32 PM

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