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March 08, 2007

Bloggers Anonymous

So why is it that, even though it's been a busy day, I feel guilty for only putting up three blog posts (and two at Tapped!)? How unhealthily addicted am I to this thing? And why do I care what you people think? You're not even real people, you're internet people! For all I know, you're just complicated algorithms meant to gain my trust and eventually convince me to pursue natural male enhancement strategies, or allow Mr. Donal Jofougourus, former finance minister of Algeria, to transfer his ill-gotten millions into my blessedly safe account of banks.

March 8, 2007 | Permalink


And I was going to bake you a cake for while we watch Transformers . . .

Posted by: Jane Galt | Mar 8, 2007 5:26:53 PM

That would be better than watching the movie.

Ezra, you're building your blog capital, which in theory (maybe a little in practice) helps you make money, be an important person, and change the world. And meet chicks.

Posted by: Sanpete | Mar 8, 2007 5:34:50 PM

Mr. Klein,

Thank you so much for reminding me, but I've found your name as being a relative of a Mr. Klein who passed away recently, leaving behind a sum of 10 million dollars. Please contact me immediately to claim these funds.

Posted by: Jazzy | Mar 8, 2007 5:39:23 PM

So, should we unreal internet people jump to the algorithm that stops visiting, reading and commenting here?

I feel so unworthy....

Posted by: JimPortlandOR | Mar 8, 2007 5:44:30 PM

We are the Borg.

Posted by: Mudge | Mar 8, 2007 5:56:10 PM

We're here! We're unreal! We're shrill! Get used to it!

Posted by: Tom Hilton | Mar 8, 2007 5:57:45 PM

I am a figment of your blog's imagination.

Posted by: fiat lux | Mar 8, 2007 6:01:17 PM

isn't Mr. Jofougourus' proposal just another type of natural male enhancement strategy, and as likely to succeed as the others?

Posted by: David | Mar 8, 2007 6:07:50 PM

I dunno..
Probably that's it...one of those things anyway.

But we gotta like you (or hate you) or we wouldn't be here.

Posted by: has_te | Mar 8, 2007 6:08:39 PM

Not real, eh? I guess that just means it's going to hurt all the more when I take you down at the next trivia night. I'm putting together a Team Obscure Jerkoffs to defeat whatever supercool, clever name the Blogosphere All-Stars can come up with. We will be the Deep Blue (1997 incarnation) to your Garry Kasparov!

Posted by: jhupp | Mar 8, 2007 6:25:41 PM

Eliza: Why do you say your trust and eventually convince you to pursue natural male enhancement strategies or allow mr donal jofougourus former finance minister of algeria to transfer his illgotten millions into your blessedly safe account of banks?

Posted by: MikeJ | Mar 8, 2007 6:29:09 PM

You do this because we make you a better writer. We sharpen your arguments and clarify your thinking. We hold you accountable to what you say.

However, as a representative of your bank, I'm sorry to inform you that your account has been flagged for possible fraud. Please confirm through secure email transaction your account number and SSN.

Once you have done this, I'll be able to tell you all about the LATEST HOT STOCK!! IT'S GONNA SKYROCKET!!! The company makes PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS, that actually work! I took one and had a 7-hour rock-hard

picture of a cute bunny to remind you that you are loved! yes you are! yes you are!

Just send this on to 12 of your closest friends and wait for the love

of your life is waiting at eMatch.com, where we use a battery of psychological tests to find YOU your perfect match! So why spend another night alone because

HOT GIRLS are standing by to MEET YOU TONIGHT!! Only the best HOT GIRLS, all local!! All you need is a valid email address

and that, Ezra, is why you love us so much.

The end.

Posted by: Stephen | Mar 8, 2007 6:39:07 PM

This explains our uncanny resemblance to the ensemble cast of cheers, with its proven capacity to generate sales impulses by rotating stimuli of the occipital lobe.

N' shit.

Posted by: RW | Mar 8, 2007 6:48:32 PM

Unfortunately, there can be only one Cliff.

Posted by: RW | Mar 8, 2007 6:50:05 PM

Maybe you should put up a MyBlogLog widget and you can see all our faces when we swing by every day. This ain't spam for MyBlogLog. I just would love one for this site because this blog, more than most, I'd love to get to know other readers.

Posted by: Brian | Mar 8, 2007 7:15:21 PM

If you're addicted, what does it say about us losers who clicked over here multiple times between each post?

I think the amount of content you produce, given its high quality, is pretty phenomenal even on a slow day.

Posted by: Sam L. | Mar 8, 2007 7:30:35 PM

for he's a jolly, good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow,
for he's a jolly good fellow,
which nobody can deny!!!!!

Posted by: jacqueline | Mar 8, 2007 8:25:26 PM

Hello my dear,

Before I introduce myself, I wish to inform you that this letter is not a hoax mail and I urge you to treat it serious. I am a Director in Procurement Department with Petroleum Ministry here
in U. A. E. I obtained your email while searching for a reliable person, who could assist me in receiving transfer of a supposed contract awarded funds. This fund came as a result of over estimated contract awarded sums executed by foreign contractors in the Petroleum Ministry. The concerned Ministry has approved these over invoiced funds for payment. The contracts which the
over invoiced sums was created from has been executed and commissioned. What I am about to receive now, is the over estimated funds which was added during the process of obtaining the contracts for my own interest. This is a normal deal that goes in my Ministry by top officials.

On my part, all modalities have been worked out in ensuring a smooth conclusion of the contract payment to your bank account within the next few days. My department approves payments to
contractors, and I happen to head the department. All I want from you is to receive these funds on my behalf as a Sub-Let Company, because as Government Official I cannot collect the funds directly from my Ministry, neither I am allowed by Law to operate/ run foreign bank accounts. If you are trustworthy and can assist me in receiving the fund, do not hesitate to respond back to me immediately.

Please note that there is no risk involved in receiving the over estimated contract funds in your account. I want you to state in percentage what you shall have for participating in using your
bank account to secure the funds. As soon as you indicate your interest, further details and the amount involved shall be given to you once I receive response from you. I hope I can trust you
to treat this proposal with utmost confidentiality.

Looking forward to hearing from you soonest.

Best regards,

Engineer Waheed Kamal.

Posted by: Tony | Mar 8, 2007 9:38:49 PM

I am not a figment of his imagination.... I am not a figment of his imagination... hell, what is a weboy anyway?.... Viagra! Super Super Low Prices!... Ann Coulter... Ann Coulter... Matt Sanchez... I'm real, but is Fred Jones?... Cialis at Bargain prices!.... Refinance Your home now!... Seksually Eksplicitt... Sorry I gotta go write on my own blog, my Mom expects it...

We believe in you, Ez, why won't you believe in us... We're coming to get you, Finchley... :)

Posted by: weboy | Mar 8, 2007 9:54:32 PM

PS Sanpete - that thing about blogging being a way to meet chicks... that's just cruel, man. ;)

Posted by: weboy | Mar 8, 2007 9:57:54 PM

Good News!

Salvation comes from God, whom the Bible calls as the Living God and Savior. God is employing a human being in order for His will to be fulfilled ... and that is the salvation of man.


Posted by: Mon | Mar 8, 2007 10:55:48 PM

Grand Bible Exposition!

Salvation comes from God, whom the Bible calls as the Living God and Savior. God is employing a human being in order for His will to be fulfilled ... and that is the salvation of man.

Our Lord Jesus Christ will bring two kinds of salvation, through the Bible. At the time He assumed human form, He saved Israel from its sinfulness. That is written in Matthew 1:21, which says-

"And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins."

More discussions at:

Posted by: Mon | Mar 8, 2007 10:57:45 PM

You have delightful readers, Ezra, and clever too. They deserve more and better and most especially, plentiful, blogging. Why do you deny them, and then mock them so?

For shame.

Posted by: Klio | Mar 8, 2007 10:58:31 PM

For all you know we're Replicants.
You're in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a blogger, commentor, it's crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the blogger's wifi connection off, commentor. The blogger lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its trackpad trying to click "post", but it can't, not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that?

Posted by: Nexus 7 | Mar 8, 2007 11:03:56 PM

Well, speaking as an elaborate set of Python scripts, I can reassure you that we're all as real as you are, Mr. Kleinnnnnnn

>Segmentation Fault: commentGen.py line 373

>source errorTrap.py

Mr. Taylor, could you please bring Mr. Klein back? Ms. Marcotte is too inflammatory for the fragile sense of male entitlement


Whoops, I never updated that. Sorry.

Anyway, your online Paypal account at Wells Fargo has been desabled for security reasons, due to unauthorized activity. Please to click on the link below to update your password, bank account number, social security number, and mother's maiden name.Do not reply to this e-mail which is automatically sent.


Posted by: mds | Mar 8, 2007 11:07:20 PM

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