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April 29, 2007
Strengths/Weaknesses
Things I think I am good at:
• Health care policy.
• Blogging.
• Stir frying.
Things I have repeatedly proven very bad at:
• Ironing dress shirts.*
*How do they end up more wrinkled?
April 29, 2007 | Permalink
Comments
You need to have your Dad show you how to do it (if he knows how). He will combine the inherent clumsiness of dudeliness with a proper understanding of all the potential pitfalls and years of screwing up shirts that he no doubt brings to the situation.
Or any relative, again, provided that they have at least some understanding of how bad you are at it and that, if given a chance, you will make a mistake. In short, someone who had to work hard to learn the skill should provide a patient and humorous learning situation.
Finally, knowing how to iron your own shirts strikes me as a fundamental aspect of modern manliness regardless of who you are or are not trying to impress. It's just a good thing to know, like the afore-mentioned cooking thing. Eat well, dress well, play good.
Posted by: abject funk | Apr 29, 2007 12:42:06 AM
Ironing
?
Posted by: Scott Lemieux | Apr 29, 2007 12:44:11 AM
And just to be clear, I in no way meant to (although probably did) try to presume that women have an easier time learning how to iron or that women are somehow gifted on the ironing front.
What I meant was that any man (like my Dad, and hopefully Ezra's) who is of an earlier generation and knows how to iron is not only awesome on that front alone, but proably damn proud of his ironing skills (my Dad was) and happy to share the tricks of the trade.
In any event, learning basic life skills from men and women you love and trust is a good thing, and teaching said skills is also wonderful. That said, learning skills of any kind from anyone is a good thing, so I hope that I have sufficiently side-stepped my initial gender-based comment, which was unintentional, but probably a bit revealing...
Posted by: abject funk | Apr 29, 2007 12:47:37 AM
Your cooking stirs fires? Have some baking soda or a fire extinguisher ready. Or be prepared to beat the fire out, perhaps use a handy dress shirt (the wrinkled ones are best.)
Posted by: jerry | Apr 29, 2007 12:50:09 AM
Ezra, please go online and buy a Brooks Brothers no-iron dress shirt. They come in a variety of styles -- hipster even! -- and lots of colors and patterns.
Do not blanch at the price, I assure you it will be money extremely well spent.
You can thank me later.
Cheers, Klio
Posted by: Klio | Apr 29, 2007 12:52:26 AM
Have to second Klio. A well-made (and probably pricier) dress shirt is going to be so much easier to iron and look so much better (ironed or not) that the extra expense is negligible over the long term, especially if it is in fact a dress shirt (as opposed to hipster, which are fine, but if well-made simply go out of style before they wear out).
You can't properly iron a cheaply made shirt. Can't be done.
Posted by: abject funk | Apr 29, 2007 12:58:11 AM
Surely you should be able to afford to get your shirts pressed on your TAP salary. Perhaps if you spent less money on wokery!
Posted by: Kevin B. O'Reilly | Apr 29, 2007 1:00:09 AM
My father's ironing advise has long been to never buy anything requiring ironing. I have heard good things about the Brooks Borthers no wrinkle shirts, tho.
Posted by: Ezra | Apr 29, 2007 1:04:23 AM
put them in a plastic bag, then put them in the fridge (the top section over night). Iron them immediately after taking them out of the fridge. Use steam when ironing. It works wonders. No starch needed, but it doesn't hurt.
Posted by: akaison | Apr 29, 2007 1:05:26 AM
Well, I am sweaty dude, so no-wrinkle usually means some nylon which means I'm gonna sweat a lot. So I prefer cotton, and the no-wrinke cotton I have tried isn't all that non-wrinkle. I'm open to suggestions and in fact will check out the Brook Brothers.
The main thing is to have a plan of attack and carry it out. That is, know your shirt, know your board, know your iron. After that, show that shirt who is boss.
Tongue in cheek, of course, but somewhat serious. If you don't know what part of the shirt to iron first, second, third, last, etc., and if the square and rounded ends of the board are a mystery, and if you aren't sure your iron is at the right temp setting (or hot enough)...disaster will enuse. Starch, steam, etc. are on the high-end of expertise, but can be addressed in time.
You are out of college, but ironing is a damn good way to make some beer money if you find yourself surrounded by other dudes who don't know how to iron and tend to be forgetful enough that they never remember to go to the dry-cleaners (which is the most sane way to do things, but requires planning and finding one that is reputable and green-friendly) and suddenly have to have a crisp shirt. This is not a comment about your salary at The American Prospect, by the way.
I will go so far as to say that knowing how to iron is actually a rather empowering thing, head and shoulders above laundry, sewing on buttons, removing stains, and other things that all of us who are mildly self-sufficient must learn to do at one point or another. Just because it takes a certain amount of technique, and you end up with a much nicer shirt than you started with.
And yes, I like raking leaves, mowing the lawn, and vacuuming (and sometimes cleaning in general). Instant and recognizable gratification is what it's all about. Also very good stuff to do when a writing deadline is looming...productive and distracting at the same time.
Posted by: abject funk | Apr 29, 2007 1:21:09 AM
Ezra, you're reading too much Xkcd. You're beginning to write like that dude, even down to the textual equivalent of a tooltip joke.
Posted by: ryan | Apr 29, 2007 2:00:59 AM
Just take the shirts to the dry cleaners. Life's too short.
Posted by: Jason | Apr 29, 2007 2:07:18 AM
I worked in the costume shop of summer stock theater for a few years during college and one of the things I learned was how to iron, fast and well.
So, first off, you do have an ironing board and a decent iron, right? Can't do the job right without the proper tools.
Assuming you do, then my advice for ironing is -- press firmly and use lots of steam. Don't skimp on it. It will cut your ironing time literally in half. Start with the back, then the front panels, then sleeves, and last, do the collar and cuffs.
Posted by: fiat lux | Apr 29, 2007 2:53:08 AM
The other thing to look at when buying a dress shirt is what kind of pleats the beast has. A standard box pleat down the middle is much harder to iron correctly than two simple pleats over each shoulder blade. The former is snazzier, but if you wear a jacket...who cares?
And I follow fiat lux's method, taking time to iron the top part of the back (above the pleats, whatever it is called, yoke, or something like that) between the front panel and sleeves.
Damn, this thread is an online course at this point.
Posted by: abject funk | Apr 29, 2007 3:32:09 AM
A good way to learn how to iron is to join the military. Uniforms must be ironed, and a low ranking enlisted man can't afford the laundry (unless beer is given up), so you learn the sequence to end up with all parts ironed and none wrinkled. After a couple years, you will never want to touch an iron again, but you will retain it forever (like bike riding).
Or, find someone patient and good at hands on teaching, and then P R A C T I C E (sung to RESPECT).
As mentioned, a good steam iron, some spray starch, and a working knowledge of an ironing board are essential (knowing which end is for what). And and about a half hour per, in the beginning. This can't be rushed until you get to expert status.
I do agree with abjectfunk: Finally, knowing how to iron your own shirts strikes me as a fundamental aspect of modern manliness regardless of who you are or are not trying to impress.
Posted by: JimPortlandOR | Apr 29, 2007 3:34:53 AM
The single most important tip is to cut down the amount of time with the iron in your hand, and up the time you spend arranging the shirt on the ironing board - ironing won't do any good if the shirt isn't flat first. Then for those times when you just can't get it flat you can gently pull the shirt with your free hand to temporarily flatten it in one direction. But that's a little more advanced.
Posted by: Paul | Apr 29, 2007 3:56:55 AM
Run a generous amount of peanut butter into the shirt.
It won't eliminate wrinkles, but they're be significantly less noticeable.
Posted by: Petey | Apr 29, 2007 7:37:43 AM
I have been known to watch male friends iron and simply say "give me that" - watching someone iron badly is torture.
My mother taught me to iron when I was 13. I have done it ever since, and it is one of the things I know I am good at.
Find someone - man woman or animal who irons well and have them show you. Ask a tailor. Do something. Do not buy no-iron shirts - people will know, and you will look embarrassing.
Alternatively, you can acquire, as many straight men do, a sympathetic girlfriend who irons. This leads to all kinds of problems, though, if you ask me, since once you expect her to serve you and your shirts, you're bound to fall into the old sexist traps.
I'd try to write hoe to iron, but you really need to have it demonstrated.
Posted by: weboy | Apr 29, 2007 8:12:09 AM
1. Plastic no-iron shirts smell of losers.
2. Buy cotton shirts. The heavier the cotton, the better they'll stay pressed.
3. Yes, good tools.
4. To contradict a post above, I iron in this order: sleeves, cuffs, yoke, the main body of the shirt. Finish with the collar and touch up the yoke.
If the collar, yoke and front pleat are perfect with a sharp crease in the sleeves -- they're the least likely spots wrinkle with wear -- you've achieved misdirection; the entire shirt is assumed wonderfully crisp. These spots are at eye level and therefore the judgemental Wrinkle Police quickly assume the entire shirt is nicely pressed, at which point you are according membership into whatever you call that club of grooming-approvers.
In a hurry? On the back just iron the pleat. The back will wrinkle once you sit in a car anyway.
Posted by: dswift | Apr 29, 2007 9:48:31 AM
dswift, weboy, by no-iron shirt, we aren't talking about those crappy 60/40 cotton/poly oxfords of yesteryear, but something like this. All cotton, and as far as I can tell, no chemical treatment to produce the wrinkle-free texture. Of course they probably exaggerate the extent to which the shirt is really wrinkle-free: you have to follow the laundering instructions to the letter, and you'll still probably have to touch it up a little with the iron.
One other thing: starch. It has its place, which is to repel "ring around the collar", likewise the cuffs. It does not belong on the body of the shirt itself. Starch does not allow the cotton to breathe, and overuse of starch causes the shirt to wear out faster. I don't know what the fashion is in DC, but in the hick towns I've lived in (including Houston), professionals really go in for the heavy starch. But that defeats the purpose of wearing a cotton shirt.
Lastly, the folks at lifehacker recommended this book, though perhaps that's more than you care to learn about taking care of your clothes.
Posted by: kth | Apr 29, 2007 10:31:53 AM
People starch because it's crisp looking and holds its shape better. It should - theoretically - allow you to launder the shirt less, which is also what causes clothes to deteriorate faster than they need to. I'm not going to change my mind on no wrinkle shirts, blends or chemically treated. Natural fabrics. That's the answer. And an iron. And men deciding to learn to take care of themselves. Helplessness is not cute.
Posted by: weboy | Apr 29, 2007 10:54:23 AM
How much can it possibly cost to get your shirts done at the cleaners in DC? Here in pricey Boston it's not much more than a buck a shirt. So, for maybe $30 a month (most people can occasionally get away without dress shirts) , you can look good and save yourself from the hell of ironing. It's so worth it.
Posted by: Jasper | Apr 29, 2007 11:08:45 AM
wrinkles or no wrinkles,
you are doing great!
keep on walking that crystal stair!
Posted by: jacqueline | Apr 29, 2007 12:02:55 PM
Small iron , medium -low heat, steam.
Shirt board...if you haven't already...or
Why the fu*ck in this day and age do you STILL iron.
Might as well do the 'suit' thing too.
And while you're at the 'business of dress'
Don't forget the neckpiece too.
[Full disclosure...Unthinkingly, uncomplainly wore that crap most of my adult life]
Posted by: has_te | Apr 29, 2007 1:12:27 PM
Here's what you do.
Launder.
Put shirts in the dryer for 10 minutes.
Remove. Hang dry. This prevents the most irritating and hard-to-iron-out wrinkles from forming in the first place.
Iron.
Posted by: Wells. | Apr 29, 2007 1:51:53 PM
