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February 16, 2007

Snow

Joel Achen has the scoop:

Snow has finally revealed its true stripes. It's just ice. A couple of days ago we had "snow" that fell in highly granular form, and the deep freeze has turned it into something with the texture of marble. It still looks like snow, but you'd need a pickaxe to make a hole big enough to accomodate a golf tee. The only way I got my car unstuck was by using my flamethrower. (As you know, I have a permit to carry a concealed flamethrower.)

And so we know snow for what it really is and what it has always been. No form of frozen water has ever had such a good run of favorable publicity. All that Currier & Ives nonsense. Disingenuousness among precipitates has dogged our lives since time immemorial (think of all the "showers" that were actually rain, and the "mist" that was actually fog), but we've been particularly vulnerable to the romanticization of snow. It's just ice, people.

It's all fun and games, but this is completely intolerable. My car is currently impaled on some impromptu icebank that's left my back wheels sticking into the alley (I need a flamethrower too!), the ground looks light and fluffy but is actually diamond-hard and dangerously slick, and I'm cold. If something doesn't change, I'm totally withdrawing my support for DC's new mayor Adrian Fenty. I want protection, dammit!

February 16, 2007 | Permalink

Comments

Ah, the joys of carlessness.

Posted by: Atrios | Feb 16, 2007 3:45:11 PM

John Negroponte didn't shovel the damn sidewalk in front of his house (or even pay anyone else to do so). So now it's a slippery deathtrap.

Posted by: Sam | Feb 16, 2007 4:04:16 PM

John Negroponte didn't shovel the damn sidewalk in front of his house (or even pay anyone else to do so). So now it's a slippery deathtrap.

Posted by: Sam | Feb 16, 2007 4:05:14 PM

oops

Posted by: Sam | Feb 16, 2007 4:06:26 PM

ezra....i must call your attention to the book...
ken libbrecht's field guide to snowflakes.
he is a professor of physics at caltech, and an expert in the science of snow.
...if you could only imagine what each of those flakes looks like...and the sheer, infinite numbers that have fallen to create the ice fields on your street....icy rimes, radiating dendrites, simple stars,stellar plates...each a magnificent and perfect crystal that creates its shape and story as it descends to earth.
.....the photographs of the snowflakes would leave you amazed....but then, it is ninety degrees and liquid sunlight here today and a bank of iceberg roses, not icicles, are blooming outside of my window...and the lemon tree is full of bright lemons and the first fragrant blossoms.

Posted by: jacqueline | Feb 16, 2007 4:55:59 PM

sorry, eighty-one degrees...but who's counting...

Posted by: jacqueline | Feb 16, 2007 4:58:52 PM

Next time, right after it snows, shovel. Or maybe you could borrow some of Matt's table salt.

You guys are really smart, but jeez you're pathetic at times.

Posted by: ostap | Feb 16, 2007 4:59:54 PM

Next time, right after it snows, shovel. Or maybe you could borrow some of Matt's table salt.

You guys are really smart, but jeez you're pathetic at times.

Posted by: ostap | Feb 16, 2007 5:01:29 PM

srsly how the fuck do people who don't have public transit get around this week?

Posted by: yoyo | Feb 16, 2007 5:23:16 PM

Ezra, the blog's name is Achenblog, but the author's name is Achenbach, not Achen.

Posted by: KCinDC | Feb 16, 2007 5:25:33 PM

Sunny and 70 here in Palo Alto.

Fight the power, people...fight the power.

Posted by: Mike P | Feb 16, 2007 6:26:14 PM

It's hard to remember that global warming is going to scorch the earth and melt the polar caps and kill us all when yer ass is frozen solid.

Posted by: Fred Jones | Feb 16, 2007 6:34:26 PM

The walkway outside my dorm is frozen solid. I was walking through Cambridge a few days ago and the sidewalks were totally iced over. I feared for my life. It made me homesick. In New York, this would not stand.

(of course, in Manhattan, there are walk/don't walk signs at EVERY corner, not just the three most important things, so people know when to cross the damn street, and I would never get honked at for not crossing the street, so maybe Cambridge's total disregard for pedestrians and pedestrian-drier harmony is to be expected. But still).

Posted by: Isabel | Feb 17, 2007 4:20:30 PM

With any luck anthropromorphic global climate alteration will end this threat for all time.

Posted by: Dave Justus | Feb 19, 2007 12:45:37 PM

Joel sent me over even though you misspelled his name!

Posted by: omni | Feb 20, 2007 11:15:11 AM

This is amazing information. A Joel Achenbach from that liberal bastion, the Washington Post, said the exact same thing as this Joel Achen fellow. I wonder if they are distant relatives.

Posted by: yellojkt | Feb 20, 2007 11:26:27 AM

His name is Achenbach, not Achen. Pronounced Ockin Bock. Nice fellah, but doesn't always spell that well himself. If you're thinking of the senator from Vermont, that's Aiken (as is the town in South Carolina). Not the same guy at all. Then there's Occam's razor (occasionally spelled Ockham). Achenbach's razor is, I believe, a Gillette Mach 3, but I could be wrong about that. There's a town in Holland called Aachen, but it has two a's in it.

Posted by: Curmudgeon | Feb 20, 2007 11:47:14 AM

scrotum

Posted by: Boko999 | Feb 20, 2007 12:06:05 PM

Oh dear, Boko999... now librarians around the country will cancel their orders for this blog.

Posted by: TBG | Feb 20, 2007 1:52:04 PM

Hey, Ezra. Another Boodler come over to say, Hey. So, Hey.

Posted by: CowTown | Feb 20, 2007 5:19:12 PM

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Posted by: judy | Sep 26, 2007 12:04:54 PM

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