December 25, 2006
Christmas Day Document Dump Meme
by Nicholas Beaudrot of Electoral Math
We'll do this Ezra style. One of these statements, and only one, is false.
1. I've never learned how to whistle. I've tried practically everything, and I'm quite sure none of it will work.
2. I've won thousands of dollars on behalf of other people by playing online poker. I'm good enough not to be a 'fish', but I'm too afraid to gamble my own money, or even take a percentage of their money. So I just use it as an opportunity to practice calculating probabilities very, very quickly.
3. I camped out for tickets to Star Wars episodes I (The Phantom Menace) and II (Attack of the Clones) on the streets of New York City. CNN, Letterman, local news, all stopped by.
4. I have, at various times, tried to teach myself Russian, Cherokee, and Ancient Greek, all without much success. Japanese is probably next.
5. I have a psychosomatic reaction to the circus, state fairs, and various other carney paraphenalia.Cotton candy, super-syrupy fountain drinks, glow sticks, those noisemakers that you only see at Barnum and brothers circus, lots of sequins, etc., make me feel ill, and have on more than one occasion actually induced vomiting.
December 25, 2006 | Permalink
I'm saying #5 is false.
Posted by: TigerHawk | Dec 25, 2006 12:31:54 PM
This is getting harder. Since Ezra we've had someone who may have been a professional satirist (and thus practiced at making up stories), a known foreigner (how can we relate?), someone who may be about to write upside down and backwards with both hands (is she even human?), and now we're supposed to guess the lie from someone who has an 80% chance of being a quasi-professional poker player?
I think you're bluffing about the whistling.
I was hoping you'd have one on how to pronounce your name.
Posted by: Sanpete | Dec 25, 2006 8:44:33 PM
I'm going with 2. How did you get other people to put large sums of money on you without your having a proven track record betting your own money?
Posted by: Neil the Ethical Werewolf | Dec 25, 2006 8:53:38 PM
I vote 2. Nobody who plays online poker has any illusions that those electronic hophouses have anything to do with anything like honest laws of probability, and nobody spends that much time involved with poker if they don't love money like sex or blood.
Posted by: Dan | Dec 26, 2006 10:01:16 PM
This is probably a little unfair, since I have a 50% chance of guessing correctly, but I'll say #4. The other languages I could believe, but you don't want to be White Guy What Speaks Japanese, do you? (Lemme tellya, it's awful.)
Posted by: Urs | Dec 27, 2006 5:35:35 PM
Wow, surely you whistle? I call BS on that one.
Everyone gets sick upon being inundated with carnival sights and smells, doesn't he? And while your language choices are a bit peculiar, who's to say you didn't really want to learn them?
#1 is the bogus bit, I think.
Posted by: litbrit | Dec 27, 2006 7:46:02 PM
#2 can't be true. Once you've won at online poker and you see how easy it is to win, you're hooked. Also, there's a hell of a lot more to winning at poker than calculating probabilities. Either you have never played at all, or you've played with your own money. Not sure which.
Posted by: Kent | Dec 28, 2006 6:24:39 PM
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