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May 15, 2006
Link of the Day
A Cheat Sheet to Christianity. A sample:
The Protestant Reformation
This is the name historians give to a major labor dispute that erupted in Germany in 1517 when a group of monks hammered a proposed union contract to the door of the pope's house, requesting a 95 percent pay raise. The pope refused to negotiate with the monks union until it agreed to pay to have the door fixed, and the result was the world's longest-running strike. For nearly 500 years, a huge portion of Christians have been on strike from being Catholic, saying they are "justified" in their work stoppage because the pope won't expand the number of indulgences they get per year. Currently, the matter is in arbitration.
Via Jane Galt.
May 15, 2006 | Permalink
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Comments
The Emerging Church
This is a term that refers to churches attended exclusively by white people in their 20s and 30s who have at least one tattoo or body piercing. Their distinguishing characteristics are a refreshing, "up to date" interpretation of Christianity, and a reluctance to directly answer questions.
Hee hee. Ezra, you probably ran into a couple of 'emerging church' types while in college; if you didn't count yourself lucky.
Posted by: Stephen | May 15, 2006 1:01:57 PM
Too funny - and the "Touchdown Jesus" reminded me of those action Jesus figurines with Jesus in his white robe playing football, hockey, etc. The figurines were designed so children would think of Jesus as a friend in their daily life/activities. I wonder if they are are still in production, hmm.
Posted by: JenM | May 15, 2006 3:30:39 PM
Thanks for the laugh Ezra--funniest partitioning of Christianity I've seen in a while!
Posted by: Steve Mudge | May 15, 2006 4:51:37 PM
The post is a touchdown, Ezra. Thanks.
Posted by: opit | May 15, 2006 8:17:53 PM
Anyone want to trade Jew jokes?
That'd be funny....right?
Posted by: Fred Jones. | May 16, 2006 3:23:06 PM
Here's one Fred.
There was an overflow at an Ecumenical Conference. A rabbi, priest and minister found themselves lodging at a nearby motel. Taking dinner together they exchanged pleasantries about their "trade".
Collections were a common source of legend.
The Baptist minister said the story went a line was run down the middle of the room. The collection was thrown in and everything on one side was for missions and charity.
The R.C. priest opined same tale, just that a circle or sometimes "bulls-eye" was used.
The rabbi snorted. Everything was thrown into the air.
God was to take of that as he wished.
Posted by: opit | May 17, 2006 2:26:03 AM
Yeah. good one but old one. How 'bout this: How many Jews can you get in a VW? Answer 54. 4 in the seats and 50 in the ashtray.
That's about how *I* feel about Ezra making sport of Christianity.
Posted by: Fred Jones | May 17, 2006 8:02:23 AM
Moral. Don't encourage a sourpuss with way too much sense of self-importance. I'll bet that carrot up your butt is a real nuisance.
Posted by: opit | May 17, 2006 11:05:51 AM
Lessee.....
Making fun of Christians, OK. Not a favored group.
Making fun of queers, not OK. *IS* a favored group.
Posted by: Fred Jones. | May 18, 2006 12:11:40 PM
Making fun of Christians, OK. Not a favored group.
Making fun of queers, not OK. *IS* a favored group.
You are so stupid, Fred.
Making fun of an extremely powerful group of people who count among their members every US president, most members of Congress, all the Supreme Court, most CEOs, most members of state legislatures, most property owners, most voters, most every single damn category in this country: yeah, it's ok.
Making fun of an attempt to exterminate an entire population of people, numbering into the millions: not fucking ok, you tool.
No matter how hard you try, Fred, you will never be a martyr. You will never be a member of a group that is actually "not favored." I know that your preferred political philosophy requires you to think that you are somehow entirely self-made, having overcome massive obstacles, Fred, but your race, your gender, your religion and even your alleged desire for women places you squarely in the "favored" group for this society.
Anyway, as a heterosexual white male with a Masters of Dvinity from an Evangelical Seminary, I found the definitions to be quite accurate, if satirically written. I would say that the author of the piece has not only firsthand knowledge of most of the traditions mentioned, but a good amount of education in theology.
Grow up.
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