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January 26, 2005
Losing Esteem for Self-Esteem
Remember all the times your teacher told you how special you were? Remember all the ego strokes delivered by well-meaning adults, certain enough compliments and praise would keep you from using crack, having kids and needing condoms? Eh, turns out it did no good. No wonder you're such a fuck up.
January 26, 2005 | Permalink
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» the popular misunderstanding of "self-esteem" from ex-lion tamer
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» the popular misunderstanding of "self-esteem" from ex-lion tamer
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Comments
Somehow, I don't see Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, (add your own, including that bully in 8th grade and our current president) failing to think extremely highly of themselves. And it was all too appropriate that California spent a heap o' money studying self-exteem; it's the National Strategic Self-Esteem Preserve.
Next week: Superego, the Threat Within!
Posted by: Tirebiter in Sector R | Jan 26, 2005 10:11:38 AM
Well, now there's a big surprise... It'd be great if this self-esteem nonsense would finally die. If anything, my guess is that "self-esteem training" in grade school and highschool has *harmed* my colleged students. It often seems that our students have been pumped full of groundless self-esteem...their reading, writing, and thinking skills are often mediocre at best...but they seem to think that they're grrreat just the way they are, and deserve A's no matter what their work looks like...
Posted by: Winston Smith | Jan 26, 2005 12:37:53 PM
i don't have the time or the inclination to go into it in much illuminative detail here, but part of the conversation going on about "self-esteem" has to do with a drastic misinterpretation and misunderstanding of a very complex psychoanalytic modality that really has nothing to do with the bastardized version that made it into "pop psych" sections in bookstores. basically, dreadfully ill-informed hucksters with skimpy credentials managed to get poorly written tomes on the bestseller lists crowing about the issue out of context, making every person whose child misbehaved or who got passed over for promotion think "maybe it's low self esteem!" i think that "pop psych" has all but destroyed the credibility of generations of hard work and research by some of our most brilliant minds, and as a former bookseller i sometimes think the world would greatly benefit if someone went into every single bookstore and pointed a flamethrower at that section.
low self-esteem really is a problem with the chronically clinically depressed, the addicted, the incarcerated, and many other people whose sufferings have a negative impact on society as a whole. it's not meant as an excuse for ordinary people to shirk responsibility or to be given unearned strokes from the community at large. it's about the spectrum of mental illness from "normal neurosis" to chronic/debilitating, and one particular constellated aspect of it, which is treatable. like many other mental health issues in our push-button, magic bullet obsessed culture, we want to identify every complex problem with an easy buzzword any idiot can understand and then cure it with a single pill or pat philosophical approach, but anybody who has actually had real problems and spent any time in therapy dealing with them can tell you that this perceived dichotomy of "i've got low self esteeeeem!!" vs. "get over it!!" is a false one.
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Posted by: TJ | Jan 26, 2005 1:05:06 PM
On the one hand, trying to support self-esteem with a lot of empty praise is futile. Healthy self-esteem is generated by challenging oneself to master difficult tasks. My big problem with the self-esteem movement is that its leaders don't seem to understand this distinction. On the other hand, there's a major problem with this article. The author is conflating healthy self-esteem with unhealthy narcissism, such as that displayed by bullies. These are two very different psychological characteristics, which need to be kept separate for a discussion of self-esteem to be at all meaningful. (Yes, I'm a psychologist myself.)
Posted by: Rebecca Allen, PhD | Jan 26, 2005 1:43:35 PM
I object to the writer's use of humility and self-esteem as opposing forces. That's simply not true. One can possess both high self-esteem and humility. I can simultaneously think positively about myself while not being boastful.
I agree with the earlier poster who said, "The author is comflating healthy self-esteem with unhealthy narcissism." Likewise, humility and low self-worth aren't the same.
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Self esteem is something very important and if you don't have it then you'll have much problems in your life.You'll allow people to insult you without telling them that is not tru because you don't have the power to object them.
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